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Despite a very conservative estimate that continued global commitment to free trade would lift between 6.2 to 12.1 million people out of poverty by 2015, economic nationalism is rampant. The French believe yogurt to be of “strategic interest”, the Italian central bank engages in various shady maneuvers to keep Dutch and Spanish bidders from acquiring Italian financial institutions and most disturbingly a Republican party that is nominally for free trade (perhaps in the same sense that they support fiscal prudence and small government) was up-in-arms about the China Oil bid for UNOCAL. Now that Congress has thrown a huge wrench into a Dubai based company’s efforts to run Jennifer Lopez’s ass, I present to you some choice quotes from leading politician on the matter.

“My amendment was narrowly designed to address the widespread, national security concerns about the possibility of a foreign-owned company having direct involvement in the management of J.Lo’s Ass.  Reports that Dubai Booty World has agreed to sell its holdings of a subsidiary involved in managing J.Lo’s ass is encouraging news.  Our goal is to make sure that the security of our J.Lo’s ass is in America’s hands and I look forward to learning more about this recent development,” said House Appropriations Chairman Jerry Lewis

Sen. Menendez complained: "Jennifer Lopez’s ass is the front line of the war on terrorism. It both a vulnerable targets for attack and a venue for smuggling and human trafficking. We wouldn’t turn the border patrol or the customs service over to a foreign government, and we can’t afford to turn this fine booty over to one either.”

"Dear Mr President: In regards to selling J.Lo’s ass to the United Arab Emirates, not just NO but HELL NO!" Rep. Sue Myrick (R-N.C.) in a one-sentence letter to Bush.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said this is not the time "to outsource major ASSet security to a foreign-based company" and that "most Americans are scratching their heads wondering, ‘Why this company, from this region, now?’ "

This entry was posted on Friday, March 10th, 2006 at 11:08 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.